Army: Strong Enough for a Man, But Made for a Woman

You know, I don't like to make pronouncements on things that could have just been spun in a particular way. That's why I'm unwilling to say the Republicans are going to take a big hit in November (although at this point that would seem to be the case). Generally anything where polsters and number crunchers could be spinning something, I don't want to put my name on it.

But at this point you can tell the Army is getting pretty desperate because of the war. Esspecially when the Army starts trying to look like it's doing something to solve the problem. The Army announced it would be rolling out their "Army of One" (damn those recruiting levels are getting low) in favor of "Army Strong".

See this just looks supid to people like me. Somebody has got to tell the people over at the Army's Marketing Department that they're not selling Athlete's Foot medication or women's deoderant.

The Army is into this whole acting like a buisness thing, the "me-now" Army as it was once called. The Army is not about kickass slogans or sports watches though. It's about killing brown people.

Okay I'm just kidding, but still the military IS about killing

N.K. Joins the Nuclear Club, U.S. Won't Stand Next to it in Yearbook Picture

Seriously, I've got nothing to say about this one. I'm not all too worried, not even for the people of Anchorage. Kim Jong Il is like the class clown, just sitting there doing silly things to get attention. If Kimmy just suddenly decided he didn't want to see Anchorage, Fairbanks, and Juneau (which is all he can hit at this point) on the map anymore; Russia, China, Japan, South Korea, and the U.S. would use Pyongyang as a proving ground for their nukes.

I'll tell you one thing, my copy of Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction is sitting on my desk and I'm wondering whether it can play in widescreen on my new TV.

Harry Potter is Making Your Kids Evil

You know, there are some people that are just paranoid about any non-orthodox lies that are being fed to their kids, even if they're as fiction. I've heard this one before too, that we should ban Harry Potter because it's about witches. And in this case because it serves to "...indoctrinate children into the Wicca[n] religion."

My response is this; okay, what's wrong with Wicca? Religion in general is indoctrinated to people. I know my parents indoctrinated me as a Catholic. We don't talk about how we need to keep Veggie Tales away from our kids because they indoctrinate them into Christianity.

I think in general there's some paranoia about Wiccans. I don't really know why. I've met Wiccans (in fact I see one every day) and they never seemed all that weird. I don't even know if they cast spells or anything. It's just some people like to call all the religions they don't like cults is all.

Houston Parents want to Ban Fahrenheit 451 in Class

Here's a gem from the irony impaired (always seems like these sorts are on the far right doesn't it?) A pair of Houston parents objected to their child reading Fahrenheit 451. because they claim it has bad language in it (by the way they haven't read the book). So the school says, "fine, read this book" and gives the kid another book. Oh but that's not enough for these prudes. THE BOOK HAS NAUGHTY LANGUAGE IN IT!

"The book had a bunch of very bad language in it," Diana Verm said. "It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. ... If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."

Oh that's nice, just keep the kids insulated not only from the themes of dystopic literature, but also from the existence of bad words. Americans need to learn to be less prudish and puritanical. If anything I'd rather people say God's name in vein than say it for real. So many wars have been fought over God, no wars have been fought over his non-existence.

I hope this woman knows she can't keep her kids in a bubble forever. What if the schoolbook was To Kill a Mockingbird? It has the word "nigger" in it! Oh shit, now it's on my blog too! We can't even let the kids look at it either!

And that's not even commenting on the GLARING irony of a couple of prudes trying to ban a book about how bad of an idea it is to abolish freedom of speech and ban books!

Iraq Bans Free Speech

Under a broad new set of laws criminalizing speech that ridicules the government or its officials, some resurrected verbatim from Saddam Hussein’s penal code, roughly a dozen Iraqi journalists have been charged with offending public officials in the past year.

- From the New York Times

Man those Iraqis sure are free aren't they? Aren't you proud that your government has freed Iraq?

How long is it going to be until this is how things go in America?

Anti-Child Sex Abuse Crusader Caught in Child Sex Scandal

Here's a freaky sotry, Republican Congressman Mark Foley, a strong crusader against child porn and such, is being accused by one of his teenage pages of sexual harrasment over AIM. Kind of makes you wonder why some people rail against certain things, doesn't it?

I wonder why the Parents' Television Council is fighting tooth and nail to Jesus-ize broadcast TV. Maybe they need the government to sure up their religious beliefs.

Screech Sex Tape and the School Shooting in Colorado

So I guess you've all heard the news, Saturday morning sitcom star (what the hell is a Saturday morning sitcom anyway?) Dustin Diamond, aka "Screech", has released a sex tape. And his rep is saying it's a way for him to avoid Screech typecasting.

I agree, this is a big step up for the destitute Dustin Diamond (say that five times fast), he occupies a special level of pseudo-celebrity shared only with such talent as Jeliel White, aka "Steve Urkel". Now he's bumped himself up, to Paris Hilton's level.

By the way, did you hear the one girl who died in that school hostage situation in Colorado typed out her last message to her loved ones as a text message on a cell phone. The message; "I love u guys". I'm sorry but this texting thing is a load of shit, I have this friend who keeps telling me I ought to get a cell phone; so I can text people. I HAVE A COMPUTER!

Furthermore, what's it with Colorado and school shootings? Is it just that cold and boring over there or what?

Also what is a 53 year old man doing shooting up a school? That's like high school kids playing Little League. It's just out of place. At his age he should be building himself a "Killdozer" or shooting up a Post Office.